“Her heart is nourished by spring-water & innocence”
– Geneviève Bon, from “The Weeping Statue,” written c. April 1993

I have been feeling so vibrant lately. This wasn’t always the case though. There was a time when such a feeling was completely foreign to me, the feeling of lightness, of vibrance. I was convinced that I’d always have to carry the heaviness that hovered over me, everywhere I went, unable to escape. But then, that word “escape,” started echoing within me 🌬

Why did I always want to escape my feelings in the first place? Why did I want to get rid of the heavy emotions instead of figuring them out? Was I just tired? Or was I actually scared to face myself? I kept pondering over this & kept having such dialogues with myself and slowly, I started to confront my emotions, & the heaviness. Instead of hiding from it all, I started exploring it. As I continued doing so, I started asking myself, am I really confronting myself or am I just falsely convincing myself of doing so? The more I asked, the more openly I confronted the deepest, darkest parts of me. It was scary & oh my, was it a bumpy road but I persevered & continued digging deeper 🐾

Then, one day a new lightness, an airy emotion smiled inside me. It was liberating. However, I soon felt a sudden fear that it might go away & I might go back to carrying the weight… but it didn’t. Days turned to weeks & weeks to months & I continued to feel liberated, light. Finally, I let go of the fear & embraced these new emotions as my own 🦄

So now, when I do experience heaviness, the greys, as I like to call them, I don’t distract myself from it, instead I confront it, I have a dialogue with it, almost like a conversation. I try to understand it & then, based on the understanding I give it the space and time it needs to sort itself out… and then it goes away & the lightness takes over again, just like the clouds floating away after a storm to reveal the happy sun and its radiance 🌞

The point of this little soliloquy is when you can’t find the light at end of the tunnel, be that light for yourself; be a searcher, not an escaper, be your own friend & strive to understand yourself, always ✨🌾

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Fatima Zehra

Fatima Zehra

A dreamer and a storyteller at heart, Fatima's aim in life is to live as creatively as possible while inducing intention in everything she does as of late. It is because of such intention that Soul of Orion was born. A playground free of rules, fear of expectations and the likes, where she can freely express herself and her work as well as chronicle her journey of being, called life.

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